The MJ of Killer Whales

Remember the killer whale at Sea World who killed its trainer in front of a live audience last year? You may recall he grabbed the trainer by her hair and pulled her underwater, drowning her either before or after severing her spine. Apparently he had been involved in the deaths of two other people before that. The whale's name is Tilikum, which in the language of the Chinook means "friend." Well yesterday Friend made his comeback performance in front of 5,000 animal lovers at Sea World in Orlando. No word yet whether People magazine will characterize this -- as they usually do when a celebrity resumes making money after getting caught doing something awful -- as a "triumph over adversity." Comments one observer:

Death by whale is uncommon, but that’s not to say Tilikum won’t strike again. Trainers are extra cautious around the whale, and no longer rub him manually. What he doesn’t get in human touch, he gets in the form of high-powered hoses.

From an objective standpoint, Tilikum’s return to SeaWorld’s performance lineup must be qualitative. He must be an awesome whale, capable of high jumps and the finest beach-ball balancing. Additionally, considering his massive frame, he must excel at the audience whale splash—a fan favorite.

Tilikum is the Michael Jackson of killer whales. Promoters will book him and crowds will come see him regardless of his personal turmoil.

Via First Thoughts